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Minister’s Column

11/25/2020

 
Happy (and sad) Thanksgiving to you.
​
In this moment of the coronavirus spiking worse than ever, it is a Thanksgiving unlike any other. The holiday is defined, for most of us, by getting together with people, especially family gatherings. While some people this year are able to be together with at least a small gathering of family, and many college students are coming home for Thanksgiving, many of us are facing a Thanksgiving (as well as looking ahead to winter holidays) quite alone. Again and again I hear the same message from health officials and civic leaders: don’t travel this Thanksgiving. Stay socially distanced if you do gather with people indoors.

Holidays are an especially hard time for those dealing with grief and loss. This is certainly true when the loss is the death of a loved one, who is not at the table for the holiday meal. And the other loss that all of us are experiencing and grieving through the pandemic—the loss of normal routines, the loss of human interaction—can also be felt more keenly at holiday times.

Grief and loss, the inability to gather with loved ones, may make this a sad Thanksgiving for you. Sadness is not evil, but is part of this human experience. You also may experience this as a happy Thanksgiving, grateful for the life you have, grateful for loving connections with people (in person or through the computer screen).

Both are true for me: I miss the family that I can’t see in person this Thanksgiving, and I’m grateful for a couple of quiet days in my own home with my partner. Feeling the sadness is good for me, instead of avoiding it. And feeling the joy is good for me as well. I wish for you the best Thanksgiving that it can be. May you feel all of your feelings and know that you are not alone.

Prayer
Spirit of life and love that connects all, be here now. Be with those families who are able to gather, and keep them safe.

May our region and our state and our nation be spared from the growing pandemic; may we all find the strength of will to make personal choices for the health of all.

May everyone who feels sad, alone, or isolated find another human soul to reach out to; may they find strength and self-love within themselves; and may they be comforted by the mysterious, divine, healing power of love that permeates all things—earth, sky, air, houses and people.


May it be so. Blessed Be.

Rev. Andrew Frantz

Minister’s Column

11/18/2020

 
On my desk I have a list called “Ten Ways to Live Restoratively” that comes from the work of Howard Zehr. Here are some key items from that list:

  • Take relationships seriously, envisioning yourself in an interconnected web of people, institutions, and the environment.
  • Treat everyone respectfully, even those you don’t expect to encounter again, even those you feel don’t deserve it, even those who have harmed or offended you or others.
  • View the conflicts and harms in your life as opportunities.
  • Engage in dialogue with others, even when what is being said is difficult, remaining open to learning from them and the encounter.
 
These words sound like a covenant to me, a sacred agreement I can make with the whole world. I will treat everyone respectfully. I will view harms and conflicts in my life as opportunities. I will engage in dialogue with others, even when what is being said is difficult. And what happens when I fail to do these things? If this is my covenant with the world, my sacred commitment, I must have a way of being accountable: seeing when I am living up to these ideals, and being honest about the times when I am not. This is why Howard Zehr also includes this one as part of his list:

  • When your actions negatively impact others, take responsibility by acknowledging and seeking to repair the harm—even when you could probably get away with avoiding or denying it. (Howard Zehr, Changing Lenses: Restorative Justice for Our Times)
 
I love the part about even when you could probably get away with avoiding or denying it. This is what my friend Kai calls, “turning yourself in.” This is true accountability. We all know when we have failed in our agreements, and when we admit it, we can make it right and restore relationships.
 
I am thinking about all this in the context of our Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, this community of about a hundred members and friends. Like the agreements Howard Zehr lists, we have agreements with one another. Because we are a spiritual community, we frame our agreements together as a covenant: a sacred agreement among us about how we will treat one another. Our official covenant reads in part: we pledge to be mindful when speaking of and to one another. We will walk in the ways of truth and loving-kindness that we and our children may always be fulfilled. And, like any humans, individually and in groups, we will break the covenant at times. There will be conflict and harm. In our Fellowship, as anywhere in life, the ideal is for each of us to take responsibility for the times when we break the covenant.
 
As board president Guy Newland talked about last Sunday, we also have further policies in place to address the breaking of the covenant and any disruptive behavior that may occur in the life and events of the Fellowship. We have a small committee who take the responsibility to call people back into covenant when it is broken. If someone were to do serious or repeated harm to someone else in the Fellowship, the board of trustees could take action including suspending or excluding that person. This would be a serious step, but if it kept the community safe from someone’s toxic behavior it would be warranted and welcome.
 
In life, and in the microcosm of this spiritual community, we strive to be our best selves, treating each other with respect and confronting difficult situations with an open mind and a loving heart. May we be strengthened in our resolve to do so.
 
Prayer:
Spirit of Life and Love, guide me into ways of being that make me open and loving, compassionate and fair. Help me see the prejudices and selfishness of my ego when they get in the way of treating people well.
 
Help me see that healthy boundaries are a good thing: within myself; in my personal relations; and in my communities.
 
May all people be well and safe, loved and cared for. May all people know healthy communication and healthy boundaries.
 
Amen. Aho. Blessed be.
 
Rev. Andrew Frantz

Minister’s Column

11/11/2020

 
I have a difficult relationship with Veteran’s Day because I have been a pacifist for my whole life. My parents were part of the Church of the Brethren, a pacifist denomination; I went to Quaker meeting as a teenager and marched with my mother in protest of nuclear weapons. The role models in my family were not soldiers but conscientious objectors.
 
There is a strain of pacifist thought that blames soldiers for the existence and perpetuation of war, but I don’t buy into that. Technically it is true that without soldiers there would be no war—“What if they held a war and nobody came?” reads the classic protest sign. But I say that we can honor soldiers while condemning war itself.
 
Many soldiers serve in the military through a pure sense of duty and honor, loving their country and its values seeking to protect it. Other soldiers are lured into service because the promise of decent pay is higher than their other options. All of these people deserve respect and gratitude for their service and the risks they take. And, I believe that our Unitarian Universalist principle of “The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all” calls us to reduce the military, not to increase it.
 
The tension between honoring military veterans and seeking to end war altogether is present in Unitarian Universalism, including among ministers. At General Assembly this past summer, the moderator made strong anti-military comments that offended some UU’s in the audience. Among UU ministers, some serve as military chaplains as their calling—choosing this instead of serving in a congregation or a hospital chaplain position. They train and deploy with their troops--all the training except for bearing a weapon. They serve as spiritual advisors and support to their military units.
 
As I wrote last week in the wake of the election, I don’t see any American political party advocating an end to war. Allegiance to the military seems to be required in public life in this country. But I am fond of quoting Dwight Eisenhower, World War II general and later the president, who said that
 
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
 
On this day, I honor those who serve and have served in the military. And I pledge to work for peace, both at home and abroad, creating a world where every nation’s army is small and its social services are huge.
 
Prayer:
Spirit of life and love, protect the troops of this nation, those training and those deployed around the world. Protect the troops of every nation, every one of them a child of God. May all the soldiers be well and safe.
 
May humans find our wisdom to see that war destroys and does not create. May the generals be wise and restrained. May the presidents, prime ministers, and leaders of the world resolve their differences at the conference table and not on the battlefield.
 
May it be so, for us and our children and our children’s children.
 
Amen.
 
Rev. Andrew Frantz
​

Minister’s Column

11/5/2020

 
Today is the day after the election, and I woke up with new clarity.

Yesterday I spent the day near Detroit with Election Defenders, outside a polling place in Inkster supporting voters and watching out for voter intimidation. I was recruited and trained for this role through UU the Vote, who directed me to Election Defenders: a non-partisan, Black-led, multiracial organization. During my 8-hour shift I met four other Unitarian Universalists (from Ann Arbor and Traverse City), some ministers and some lay people, doing the same work. And I greeted dozens­—probably hundreds—of voters as they came and went from the polling place. I wore a clerical collar to indicate my clergy status and a bright yellow sweatshirt to indicate my affiliation with the non-partisan Election Defenders. It was a long and tiring day.

Before I even left home in the morning on election day, I was moved by a Facebook post from my friend Cindy (also a UU) doing similar work to what I was about to do. She was in Cudell Park, Cleveland—the place where Tamir Rice was shot and killed. The recreation center there is a polling place, and they were serving coffee and free breakfast to early voters. Cindy stood with a sign saying “Voter Assistance Here,” and the caption to her photo said, this is what democracy looks like.

We show up to make voting safe and smooth in neighborhoods where Black, Indigenous, People of Color are the majority of voters—voters whose rights have been suppressed. We show up because we believe in democracy as a human right and as one of our religious values as Unitarian Universalists. We who recognize our privilege seek to serve those who have less privilege.

It was a hard night listening to the election returns. This morning was better, but still bad. As I write, it looks like Trump will win Ohio by 8 percentage points and Biden will win Michigan by a fraction. Biden just may eke out a win in the electoral college. That matters….and it also matters that half of the voters in this country will have voted for Donald Trump. This, after four years of seeing his racism, his bullying, his lying, his selfish and destructive behavior.

This realization leads me to conclude what I must do in response: to hold what and whom I love more fiercely; and to work with greater dedication to create loving community. These are the antidotes, personally and socially, to the values represented by President Trump and by the many people who enable him. There is a clarity and hope in this realization: I can do what I can do. I don’t have control over national elections or public figures, or over the opinions of others, but I have control of my life and my work. As this election ends, the further work begins for love and justice and community.

Prayer:
Spirit of Life and love, God who blesses Maine and Oklahoma and Idaho and Texas, be with this nation today and show us the lessons of this election. Show us how to understand one another beyond the coarse language of voting; show us what our fellow Americans want and what they fear; what they know and what they grasp to understand.
 
May there be understanding and forgiveness, compassion and hope in Michigan and Ohio and California. May dialogue replace the shouting of slogans, may friendships be healed.
 
May it be so.
 
Rev. Andrew Frantz
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    Rev. Andrew Frantz

    UUFCM Minister

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