As I said on Sunday, I am an outsider to the Jewish tradition. From my outside perspective, it seems that the asking–and granting–of forgiveness in this tradition is human, not divine. By contrast, the practice of confession in Catholic and some other Christian traditions (and I’m an outsider to these traditions as well) seems to be about divine forgiveness. The confessor, through the priest, asks–and is granted–forgiveness from God. I asked a Jewish friend of mine about this and I got this response: traditionally, you ask forgiveness three times, and if the person still does not forgive you, you turn it over to G-d to forgive you. There is an old saying, “to err is human; to forgive divine.” So the Jewish tradition, as I understand now, includes both human forgiveness and divine forgiveness.
Finally, I reflected on Sunday about forgiveness versus making amends. In the 12-step tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery programs, the person in recovery makes amends to the people they have harmed. To me this is different from asking forgiveness, and more active. Making amends means performing a concrete action to try and heal a damaged relationship, with the burden of that action on the one who caused the harm; whereas asking for forgiveness seems to put the burden on the one who has been harmed.
This is such a rich topic because it is part of everybody’s life. In relationship we all harm one another from time to time. And here I want to reiterate my invitation from Sunday, as spiritual leader to this congregation. If you are coming to terms with the fact that you have harmed someone, and wrestling with how to make amends or to ask forgiveness, I am ready to support you through compassionate non-judgmental listening. This is work that we all need to do.
PRAYER:
May wisdom and compassion flow through each of us.
May we see clearly how we show up in our relationships, and may we seek to be our best selves–never perfect, always trying to be more loving and authentic.
May the life-force flowing through us strengthen and guide us.
May it be so.
Rev. Andrew Frantz
September 20, 2023