Some things you should know about me are: I’m an optimist, I am a survivor, and I am a fixer. However on November 9, 2016, I lost my identity.  I lost my positivity and my self-efficacy.  I had created a world where I was surrounded by liberal advocates, and it suddenly became apparent I had been living in a bubble. About a month in to my loss of ‘self,’ Daniel and I decided we needed something. We just were not sure what that ‘something’ was. In those dark days, after many conversations accompanied with many glasses of wine, we decided on two things. We would rescue a puppy and find a spiritual community with like-minded people.   
 
After being raised in an extremely strict Lutheran home, I definitely knew what I was not looking for in a church. We looked for a place free of judgement and shame; a place where we could be reminded of who we were and surround ourselves with kindred spirits. After researching our options for both a puppy and a church, we rescued our dog Karl Marx, and we have been here ever since.
 
Our first six months here were kind of a blur for me. Many times I was relatively detached from the readings and the sermon, only to stare at the 7 Principles on the back of the bulletin. I would read them over and over again, and try to remind myself that there were still good people in the world. I would look around at the people that came here from week to week and wondered if I would ever be okay enough to be ‘one of you.’ I wondered how I could return to the person who believed and lived those 7 Principles, when I was so desperate and angry.  But slowly, and not very gracefully I might add, I plowed through my grief and began trying to figure out how I could connect with the people of this community.  
 
When I am here, in your midst, I am reminded of who am. I am inspired to not only grow as a human, but find ways to contribute to the greater causes of this church. My hope is that I can give to this church, both financially and my time and talents, as much as I feel I have gained from it. Our mission states we strive “To be a religious community guided by love, transforming our lives and our world.”  Those are powerful words. To be guided by love… I don’t think I’m completely there yet, but being a part of this community definitely brings me continuously closer.

I am a UU because of the seven principles. The responsibility to be a good person isn’t in any book or any doctrine but in me. All of the principles are relevant but there is one principle that really spoke to me and it was the 4th principle which states: A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.

Like many here, my journey began with another religious upbringing. I was raised in the Presbyterian faith. My dad was an elder. My mom sang in the choir and taught adult RE. When I was in high school, I taught Sunday school for 8-10 year olds. I continued going to the Presbyterian church when I came to CMU. There always seemed to be something missing. The sermons based on the Bible never connected with me. 

I often questioned things. While the questions were probably frustrating for the ministers, their answers drove me up the wall. I would push for clarification until finally their solution to end the conversation was to say “because.” I was supposed to be satisfied with that. I was to trust that God knew what was best–good things happen by the will of God as well as bad things. And that was that. Gradually, I quit going.

I first attended the UU services when they met every other Sunday at the Italian Oven. I was hooked. In the movie Small Foot, there is a song titled Wonderful Life that sums it up for me, especially one lyric. It goes like this, “Find the lessons there is to learn and dig deeper. Feed your intuition. Don’t leave any stone unturned. Be the seeker of the truth.” UU allows me–expects me–to be the seeker.

Give Away What You Need Most

You know how you get that little tune in your head and you just keep singing it over and over? Well, the day Norma Bailey came into the Democratic Party Office while I was working during the 2016 election cycle, I was singing a little ditty over and over. Jerry, our party chair, through his frustration with me, told her I was singing ALL the time. So, we got into this discussion about my liking to sing, and she told me about the Church and invited me to sing in the choir. Ok. I’d think about it.

I kept telling my son I was going to go to choir practice on Wednesday night and he said “Nobody wants you to sing in their choir if you’re not going to attend their church.” So, every Sunday morning he would call me at 9:30—“Are you up? Are you going to church this morning?” “No, but I think I’ll go to choir practice Wednesday night.” This went on until I finally got out of bed and came to this Church.

I sat in the back where I could hopefully disappear. But I was surprised at how many people welcomed me. When I walked in that day, I was feeling pretty low. But by the time I left I was feeling a lot better.

By the time I finally came to Church, I had already entered the grieving process of losing who I had always thought I was. I had been sick for a year. I was so topsy turvy that I was devoid of any emotion or spirituality. I had nothing to give to anyone, especially myself.

Since I loved to sing, I finally showed up for choir practice, and I still sat in the back after Joys and Sorrows. But, one day, I noticed I could see giant auras in the front of the Sanctuary, and they were all dancing together. That’s when I realized my spirituality was starting to come back. So then I had to move up front so I couldn’t see them because they got too distracting.

My health issues were starting to get better. They are not completely gone yet, but MUCH better.

Since Norma was President, I went to her with questions about the UU way of life, the belief system, and the 7 Principles. Once I knew I could trust her, I asked her to help me with my coming out process.

But…at the same time, other people were inviting me to join many other
activities around the church. Everyone was wonderful to me.

Then I finally started to share in Joys and Sorrows, and you all found out just how weird I really am. Slowly, I started to get well.

I believe in give away what you need most as a form of tithing. One day I was really out of food. So, I started to cook more and give away some of what I had cooked. It didn’t take long and my refrigerator, my freezer, and my cupboards were full.

Then I increased the amount of money I was giving to the Church. Sure enough. My income increased.

There was one thing left to give, and that was love. I have for years been all about unconditional love, but when I started coming here, I didn’t have any left to give. Between you and what I experienced at the GA, I finally was able to learn a higher level of unconditional love than I had ever known before. My intuition has soared. I gave away food, and my food is prolific. I gave away money, and now I have fun money. I gave away love, and I have more love than I ever thought possible coming my way.

I grew up in a Congregational/United Church of Christ Church. I was then in Unity Church for 30 years. And, now I’m a Unitarian Universalist. In the Christian Church we call it going up Jacob’s Ladder. I feel like I’ve gone really high up that ladder. I am involved in the Wednesday Discussion Group, Reader’s Theatre, the Potlucks, Arms Around, and, of course, I sing in the choir. I serve on the Social Justice Coordinating Team, and represent our Church on the State Women’s and LGBTQ Justice Task Force, which is through MUUSJN. I have also volunteered for many other things, as they come up.

I’ve said for years that I wanted to go home but I didn’t know where that was. Coming here over this last year and a half has opened my eyes so I could come into myself, increase my intuition, be my authentic self no matter how weird that may be, and feel emotion, spirituality, and love again. I will give whatever I can to this Church and all the people in it.

Norma’s invitation to sing in the choir is what brought me here. But, it’s all of you that kept me coming back. Thank you for changing my life.
​I am home.

The question is: Why are you a Unitarian-Universalist?

The answer is hard to state in a simple statement, but certain life experiences tend to be helpful in coming to an answer.

My background is similar to many here – growing up in another church, attending weekly services (Sunday School as well as Sunday Service) and always having a little something to put in the basket to support the church. After years of that, I found that I really didn’t agree with many of the things others accepted.

Two instances stand out from that period and led me to realize
​I no longer fit in.
1. One of the more zealous members of our church came to our Junior High. group one Sunday and wanted all of us to sign a pledge to “Never smoke or drink”. I refused. Even at the tender age of 12 I knew I didn’t want to be bound by something I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep.

2. Our church held a rare communion for adults when I was 16 and I was expected to take part since I was almost an adult. When I heard the explanation for the “bread and grape juice” that was served, I just couldn’t accept that and refused.

I did continue attending church and being involved but mostly with singing in the choir. I like music but learned to ignore much of the religion that was practiced. The last years of high school, my naval career, and college were spent in other ways, though I did try a few churches, including a Unitarian Church, which I remember was very impressive – the building, the service, and the music.

The next few years were like a lot of other people – not much interested in organized religion, but in building a career, meeting new people and traveling.

I eventually got to Mt. Pleasant, met Gisela, and got married, and with her encouragement, joined a small group of UU’s in Mt. Pleasant, which was very interesting but short-lived.

A few years later another group was started but quickly became more of a social group with growing children, busy careers, and involvement with civic activities.

​We did try the Lutherans for a while, mainly because the minister was an outstanding story-teller and very personable. For me, the opportunity to sing in a choir had to be balanced against the communion aspect. Singing won out. That minister left and we started
looking again.

That lasted until Bob Franke and others started our present church. We were among the first signees of the book.

What does it mean to sign the book? The best part was that we were a part of a group that was interested in each other, free to agree and disagree on many matters, and willing to contribute both money and time to keep our Fellowship healthy. My involvement has been as a treasurer, outside landscaping, Reader’s Theater, member of the choir (I still like music!), search committee, leader of services when needed, and contributor to the finances.

It is important to me that this Fellowship continue – not only as a liberal religious voice in our community, but also as a place for others to find the satisfaction I have found. I know it takes time, effort, and money but, for me, it has been an answer to my lifetime search.