Candi Tomlinson

Give Away What You Need Most

You know how you get that little tune in your head and you just keep singing it over and over? Well, the day Norma Bailey came into the Democratic Party Office while I was working during the 2016 election cycle, I was singing a little ditty over and over. Jerry, our party chair, through his frustration with me, told her I was singing ALL the time. So, we got into this discussion about my liking to sing, and she told me about the Church and invited me to sing in the choir. Ok. I’d think about it.

I kept telling my son I was going to go to choir practice on Wednesday night and he said “Nobody wants you to sing in their choir if you’re not going to attend their church.” So, every Sunday morning he would call me at 9:30—“Are you up? Are you going to church this morning?” “No, but I think I’ll go to choir practice Wednesday night.” This went on until I finally got out of bed and came to this Church.

I sat in the back where I could hopefully disappear. But I was surprised at how many people welcomed me. When I walked in that day, I was feeling pretty low. But by the time I left I was feeling a lot better.

By the time I finally came to Church, I had already entered the grieving process of losing who I had always thought I was. I had been sick for a year. I was so topsy turvy that I was devoid of any emotion or spirituality. I had nothing to give to anyone, especially myself.

Since I loved to sing, I finally showed up for choir practice, and I still sat in the back after Joys and Sorrows. But, one day, I noticed I could see giant auras in the front of the Sanctuary, and they were all dancing together. That’s when I realized my spirituality was starting to come back. So then I had to move up front so I couldn’t see them because they got too distracting.

My health issues were starting to get better. They are not completely gone yet, but MUCH better.

Since Norma was President, I went to her with questions about the UU way of life, the belief system, and the 7 Principles. Once I knew I could trust her, I asked her to help me with my coming out process.

But…at the same time, other people were inviting me to join many other
activities around the church. Everyone was wonderful to me.

Then I finally started to share in Joys and Sorrows, and you all found out just how weird I really am. Slowly, I started to get well.

I believe in give away what you need most as a form of tithing. One day I was really out of food. So, I started to cook more and give away some of what I had cooked. It didn’t take long and my refrigerator, my freezer, and my cupboards were full.

Then I increased the amount of money I was giving to the Church. Sure enough. My income increased.

There was one thing left to give, and that was love. I have for years been all about unconditional love, but when I started coming here, I didn’t have any left to give. Between you and what I experienced at the GA, I finally was able to learn a higher level of unconditional love than I had ever known before. My intuition has soared. I gave away food, and my food is prolific. I gave away money, and now I have fun money. I gave away love, and I have more love than I ever thought possible coming my way.

I grew up in a Congregational/United Church of Christ Church. I was then in Unity Church for 30 years. And, now I’m a Unitarian Universalist. In the Christian Church we call it going up Jacob’s Ladder. I feel like I’ve gone really high up that ladder. I am involved in the Wednesday Discussion Group, Reader’s Theatre, the Potlucks, Arms Around, and, of course, I sing in the choir. I serve on the Social Justice Coordinating Team, and represent our Church on the State Women’s and LGBTQ Justice Task Force, which is through MUUSJN. I have also volunteered for many other things, as they come up.

I’ve said for years that I wanted to go home but I didn’t know where that was. Coming here over this last year and a half has opened my eyes so I could come into myself, increase my intuition, be my authentic self no matter how weird that may be, and feel emotion, spirituality, and love again. I will give whatever I can to this Church and all the people in it.

Norma’s invitation to sing in the choir is what brought me here. But, it’s all of you that kept me coming back. Thank you for changing my life.
​I am home.