Minister’s Column
I’m writing this week’s column with a heavy heart because my mother passed away on Monday morning. She was 86 years old and had been suffering a long decline from Alzheimer’s disease. I’m very grateful that she died peacefully in her sleep.
Since her death I have had a swirl of emotions, including relief: my mom’s quality of life seemed very low for the past several years as she lost all language. The spark of her true self was buried deep within her, but less and less visible from the surface. During my visits to Wisconsin where she lived, I would try to connect with her non-verbally through singing and prayer. Her death has released a wave of sadness that I have been anticipating for all these years of her illness. And the chance to remember her by connecting with my kids and my siblings, and by writing her obituary earlier today, has brought joy as well. I am re-connecting to the memories of my mother in her prime as a loving mom and grandmother; as a marriage and family therapist; as a deeply spiritual lay-leader in her church; as a life-long peace activist and more.
And I had a new thought today that surprised me: a sense of new maturity in myself, of growing up or reaching a milestone in life due to the first loss of one of my parents. I’m still sitting with that thought.
I’m aware that this moment comes when so many members of our congregation have just completed four weeks of reading and discussing Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. Questions of aging and death are all too often seen as taboo in our culture, and I’m glad that so many of you engaged with that book. We would all benefit from doing the important and difficult work of confronting the mortality of our loved ones and of ourselves. Truly life is finite and precious, and we should remember to embrace every day as a gift.
This week I am traveling to Wisconsin for three days to make funeral arrangements and to offer comfort and love to my stepfather who just lost his wife. I will be back for the Sunday service on February 18. Next month, however, I will be gone for the weekend of March 16-17 when we hold the memorial service for my mother. I welcome your prayers and good wishes.
PRAYER:
Mother Father God, be present in your love and mercy and look on my family with love and compassion. May the spirit of Anne Marie Finnell Frantz-Cook, free now from the confines of an earthly body, be present in light and love. May she live on in the memory of those who love her.
May love and mercy fall upon every human everywhere today who is grieving the loss of a loved one. This experience makes us human: the sadness, the remembered joy, the consciousness of mortality, the mystery of death. May we grapple with these things as best we can, and may we support one another when grief and death appear in our lives.
May Love bless us all. Amen.
Rev. Drew Frantz
February 13, 2024